: Archive

Anonymous asked: it's you

Apr 1st

3 tags

Apr 1st

13,603 notes

2 tags

Apr 1st

2 notes

2 tags

Apr 1st

494 notes

2 tags

Apr 1st

19,864 notes

2 tags

Apr 1st

4,768 notes

1 tag

Apr 1st

1,697 notes

1 tag

Apr 1st

4 notes

1 tag

Mar 31st

100 notes

1 tag

“How am I ever supposed to get good at pin ball if the ball keeps going between...”

– My boyfriend, the child

Mar 31st

1 tag

Mar 31st

8,223 notes

1 tag

The only problem I had with this week’s episode was that I couldn’t quite fit my hand down my throat to rip my own heart out.

Mar 31st

1 tag

Mar 31st

9,836 notes

2 tags

Listening to Lionel Richie with headphones in public feels like walking butt naked through a group of blind people.

Mar 31st

2 notes

1 tag

Mar 30th

76,991 notes

2 tags

Mar 30th

701 notes

1 tag

Mar 30th

40,142 notes

1 tag

Mar 30th

1,191 notes

Mar 30th

26,180 notes

1 tag

Mar 30th

216 notes

Sometimes I go really far back in my likes and reblog stuff and then I think that it must really creep people out when I reblog things that they posted like years ago.

Mar 30th

1 tag

Mar 30th

306 notes

Anonymous asked: What are you going to school for?

Mar 30th

1 tag

Mar 30th

14 notes

2 tags

Mar 30th

128 notes

2 tags

I tried to make white chocolate covered strawberries for breakfast by melting a cookies and cream bar on some strawberries in the microwave, but the candy didn’t melt and the strawberries turned into lava on the inside and burned my tongue. I’ll never try to be fancy again.

Mar 30th

1 note

1 tag

Mar 30th

13,439 notes

1 tag

Mar 30th

89 notes

1 tag

Mar 30th

893 notes

2 tags

Mar 30th

14 notes

3 tags

Mar 29th

8 notes

Mar 29th

45,372 notes

2 tags

Time to over share

[[MORE]] Sometimes I poop blood. I’ve had a colonoscopy and nothing was found, but it still happens occasionally. It’s happened for three days in a row now, twice just today. My stomach hurts and my pooper hurts and my arm hurts from giving blood earlier. I think I might die of blood loss. I lost my health insurance earlier this year and I couldn’t get anything done even if I...

Mar 29th

1 note

1 tag

Mar 29th

27 notes

2 tags

Hearing snoop dog makes me feel like I’ve been touched inappropriately by a very dirty person. His voice is way too intimate. You can’t just talk to me like that and not know me.

Mar 29th

58,279 notes

1 tag

Mar 29th

43 notes

2 tags

Mar 29th

51 notes

2 tags

Mar 29th

57 notes

2 tags

Mar 29th

13,128 notes

dekutree: alfrodo: if arkansas is pronounced arkansaw why is kansas not pronounced kansaw

Mar 29th

1,082 notes

2 tags

Mar 29th

91 notes

Mar 29th

274 notes

2 tags

Mar 29th

23 notes

1 tag

Mar 28th

1 note

Mar 28th

11,379 notes

Anonymous asked: Tell us the details of the goose attack, lest it be too traumatic.

Mar 28th

3 tags

Last night, I had a dream that I found a tree full of blue jays. I held my hand out for one to fly onto and bunch of them came and landed on my arm and in my hair where they turned into giant blue flowers. When I whistled, the flowers would curl in and then rebloom. Today, I was attacked by a goose who had no business coming at me like that. When I look back, I realize that the dream was not a...

Mar 28th

1 tag

Mar 28th

155 notes

sherlock-hound: i miss the generations when a guy had to ask a girl out by asking her parents, where a girl could just be beautiful in a tshirt, where bubonic plagues decimated villages across europe and left a third of the population dead. reblog if u agree

Mar 28th

125,484 notes