I tried to make white chocolate covered strawberries for breakfast by melting a cookies and cream bar on some strawberries in the microwave, but the candy didn’t melt and the strawberries turned into lava on the inside and burned my tongue. I’ll never try to be fancy again.
Tell us the details of the goose attack, lest it be too traumatic.
I was on a field trip at the water treatment plant and there were geese all over. I was walking and taking notes, minding my own dang business when I heard hissing and I looked over and there’s this goose bobbing his head up and down like it knows me or something, mouth hanging open like an idiot. And I try to walk away, but it freaking flies at me, squawking and flapping and I just covered my face and ducked until it left. The rest of the time we were there, they all kept giving me bird stink eyes.
And I was like I’m not the one leaving turds all over the place.
Last night, I had a dream that I found a tree full of blue jays. I held my hand out for one to fly onto and bunch of them came and landed on my arm and in my hair where they turned into giant blue flowers. When I whistled, the flowers would curl in and then rebloom.
Today, I was attacked by a goose who had no business coming at me like that. When I look back, I realize that the dream was not a magical gift, but a warning.
i miss the generations when a guy had to ask a girl out by asking her parents, where a girl could just be beautiful in a tshirt, where bubonic plagues decimated villages across europe and left a third of the population dead. reblog if u agree