I woke up at about 12:00 a.m. and got out of bed. Then, for some reason, I thought that my dresser drawer was a cash register drawer, so I opened it, felt around inside and then laid back down. Seconds later, Shirley called me.
So, I’m on the pill and I don’t have periods. (Too personal? Don’t read it!) Anyways, I’m thinking that my body concluded that I wasn’t suffering enough each month and decided to do something about it. You see, I have asthma and for about a week each month, I have what my doctors say are just prolonged asthma attacks. The first day, I feel a little wheezy and my nose stops working, causing me to mouth breathe like a creep. The second and third day, my wheezing gets worse and my throat feels like someone tried to clean out my throat with metal bristles. By the forth day, I sound like the grudge after walking at anything faster than a leisurely pace. On the fifth and sixth day, I’m sleeping with a humidifier in my room, waking up every hour or two to cough up things you’ve only imagined in your worst nightmares, and honestly, fearing for my life. By the Seventh day, I’m on couch rest and it feels like I’m breathing through a straw. My chest is tight and it’s all I can do to journey to the bathroom and try to take a steam shower. Usually, from there, I progress backwards through the days until I just feel weak and can’t run for a few days.
So, the only logical explanation is that when my body figured out that it couldn’t fill my uterus with blood anymore, it decided to fill my lungs with snot, or poison, I’m not sure yet. Either way, it’s just not right if I’m not in some kind of embarrassing, disgusting pain every so often. I mean, what kind of world would it be if I got to be comfortable all the time?!
Every time I get upset, I start filling out college applications like filling them out will make this year go faster or something. But, I was just thinking, when colleges look through them, do they hire graphologists to interpret what the writing says about the person? Because, they’re going to think that I’m just mad all of the time.