It was nine o’clock at midnight at a quarter after three When a turtle met a bagpipe on the shoreside by the sea, And the turtle said, “My dearie, May I sit with you? I’m weary.” And the bagpipe didn’t say no.
Said the turtle to the bagpipe, “I have walked this lonely shore, I have talked to waves and pebbles—but I’ve never loved before. Will you marry me today, dear? Is it ‘No’ you’re going to say dear?” But the bagpipe didn’t say no.
Said the turtle to his darling, “Please excuse me if I stare, But you have the plaidest skin, dear, And you have the strangest hair. If I begged you pretty please, love, Could I give you just one squeeze, love?” And the bagpipe didn’t say no.
Said the turtle to the bagpipe, “Ah, you love me. Then confess! Let me whisper in your dainty ear and hold you to my chest.” And he cuddled her and teased her And so lovingly he squeezed her. And the bagpipe said, “Aaooga.”
Said the turtle to the bagpipe, “Did you honk or bray or neigh? For ‘Aaooga’ when you’re kissed is such a heartless thing to say. Is it that I have offended? Is it that our love is ended?” And the bagpipe didn’t say no.
Said the turtle to the bagpipe, “Shall I leave you, darling wife? Shall I waddle off to Woedom? Shall I crawl out of your life? Shall I move, depart and go, dear— Oh, I beg you tell me ‘No’ dear!” But the bagpipe didn’t say no.
So the turtle crept off crying and he ne’er came back no more, And he left the bagpipe lying on that smooth and sandy shore. And some night when tide is low there, Just walk up and say, “Hello, there,” And politely ask the bagpipe if this story’s really so. I assure you, darling children, the bagpipe won’t say “No.”
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
1. I’m skipping everything else because I can and because I like talking about myself.
2. On my left foot, my second toe is shorter than my big toe, but on my right foot, it’s longer.
3. Since I’ve never met my father and the only thing I know about him is that he’s of Spanish origin, every time I see a Spanish looking man in public, my friends and I point and say, “there’s my (your) dad!”.
4. It’s easy to make me happy.
5. I love sewing.
6. I’m easily scared.
7. When I daydream, it’s usually about starting a real life musical.
8. Playing violin is what makes me feel happy.
9. Shirley Rice is my soul mate.
10. When I get nervous about making a speech or “putting myself out there,” I end up smiling uncontrollably.
11. When people first meet me, they’re always talking about how quiet I am. When they get to know me, they learn to tune me out or they get very annoyed.
12. I love playing scary video games, even if I scream on occasion.
13. I love puns.
14. God is the love of my life.
15. My dream lifestyle is to sit in my home library and write and read books all day.
16. “Forest Gump” is my favorite movie.
17. I’ve never seen the ocean.
18. I’m terrified of being like my mother.
19. I ran for Senior class president (2011) and lost by four votes.
20. Every time I spend time around small children, I get baby fever.
21. I have three ferrets, a bird, and a dog. I want a kitten.
22. When I’m nervous, I get gas, which makes me even more nervous.
23. I constantly correct grammar. Now I’m nervous that there’s a typo somewhere in this thing and I’ll look like a hypocrite.
24. A lot of people think I’m autistic.
25. I’m not autistic.
26. I love people.
27. I sing all the time, and I’m not even good at it.
28. Branden Mason is not as cool as I am.
29. I’m an awful driver.
30. I hate when people say that a certain type of music is “gay” or that it “sucks” just because they don’t like it. I don’t necessarily like death metal or radio country, but I think that the people playing it are talented and they’re doing what they love.
So, in case anyone didn’t know, a colonoscopy is a surgical procedure where you’re knocked out and the doctors snake a camera up your pooper. This sounds bad enough, but the worst part is the prep. The day before the surgery, you can only have clear liquids and you have to drink 8 ounces of water every hour. Then you have to drink a big, whoppin’ thing of nasty to make you crap you skull out.
Today, I have not eaten and I drank about 8 ounces each hour. As you may have guessed, this caused me to have to pee a lot. A lot. At school, this is hard to manage. I had been holding in about a gallon of urine for the past two periods before I got to a class where I could use the bathroom. The way the school is shaped, there is only one bathroom in that corner of the school. When I got there, it was closed off and there was a little paper sign saying something about maintenance or whatever, but I didn’t stop to look. I had to power walk to the complete other side of the joint and drop trow at lightning speed. Just about an hour ago, I got a call from the school saying that there was another gun threat written on the girl’s bathroom wall this time. THAT’S WHY I COULDN’T GET INTO THE BATHROOM.
The worst part is choking down a huge container of the stuff that makes me poop all day. It’s awful tasting, smelling, and feeling. To keep myself from throwing up and crying, I put lemon juice in it (Because I dig lemon juice). This made it taste exactly like Pine Sol. From there, I spent about 5 hours in the John and my stomach is making frightening noises.
Mostly, I’m just hungry beyond belief and I’m scared for my life.
I’m not trying to offend anyone, but I noticed something. Every time there’s a break-up between people who have been together for a while, the girls’ status will be something sad or angry. But, the guys’ is always like “going to a sick show tonight” or “Colts game tonight!”.
Shut up, guys. You were together for about a year. Everyone knows that you cried and punched some trees. But, no, it’s cool to act indifferent.
I have a pinched nerve in my back and I can’t sleep at night because I’m asthmatic and driving every morning without heat is killing my jank lungs. Tomorrow, I have to read a campaign speech to my entire senior class so that they can forget about it over the weekend and vote for the more popular kids on Monday. Fall foliage is this week and I can’t go because I have to work and take the SAT. I hate drugs with every fiber of my being, but somehow people in my life just can’t seem to stay away from them. One of my favorite teachers and role models is in the hospital, close to death. I’ve had diarrhea all day. My boobs are sore. I have no personal time left and I hardly ever talk to my best friend anymore.
AND YOU WANT TO MAKE A COMMENT ABOUT MY “BIG A** TITS”?!